CCS (Coomer Cave Service) Charles Kirkham
🚨🚨 ITS CHARLIE KIRK BUST-A-NooT HOT AIR DAY 💨🍆💦 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 🧐⁉️ TIME TO WATCH THIS PINHEAD CLOWN 🤡🥜 PUFF HIS CHEST UP LIKE A BALLOON 🎈 AND BLOW HIS LOAD 💥💥
AKA HEART-POPPIN’ CooM-ROCKET FESTIVAL 🚀🍑💦 AKA TINY-FOREHEAD NooTSPLOSION CELEBRATION 🤯🥜🔥 AKA STRAIGHT-UP GAGGIN’ ON HIS OWN GAS DAY 👅💨😩
THIS MAN OPENED HIS MOUTH 📢😮💨 AND HIS CHEST BURST LIKE A CARTOON CREAM-PIE 💦🍰 SPRAYIN’ EVERYWHERE 🤤🤤 ON SOME LOONEY TUNES XXX ENERGY 🐰🔞🐔
SEND THIS TO 7️⃣ OF YOUR FILTHY FREAK HOES 🍑👅💦 OR YOU’LL BE LEFT DRY AND BLUE-BALLED 😫🧎 GET 11️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE THE DIRTY DYNAMITE QUEEN 👑💣💦💯
FEATURES:
THE SMALL-FACE BRIDGE: A high-tech Camera System that gives the Captain total surveillance of the exterior. The field of view is wide, even if the Captain’s face remains inexplicably centered and tiny.
THE LOGIC ENGINE: A Semi-Automatic Upgradable Reactor. It’s designed to provide a steady stream of power that never wavers, unless your Engineer starts "re-interpreting" the wiring.
PULVERIZING DEFENSE: Equipped with 4 Pulse Lasers and 2 Railguns by default. We figured since your "foock ass friends" can't aim, we'd just give you enough guns to ensure the ocean eventually gets hit by something. Blow strait coke farts out of your anus into the face of the enemy.
EL CAPITAN’S DISCHARGE: Externally mounted Discharge Coils controlled from the Nav terminal. Perfect for when protesters (Crawlers) get too close to your hull, or when a crewmember needs a "shocking" reminder of who’s in charge.
ROBUST BALLASTS: High-flow pumps designed to "Drain the Swamp" faster than any sub in its class. These pumps are built to withstand the pressure of both the abyss and constant complaining.
THE INFRASTRUCTURE: - Fore and Aft Airlocks (for when you need to exit to the left or the right).
Full Medical Suite for treating "accidental" crew mishaps.
Fabrication Room and Storage Area for the self-reliant crew.
TECHNICAL SPECS:
Price: 10,000 mk
Crew Size: 4 - 8
Class: Beginner / Attack T1
Weapons: 4x Pulse Lasers, 2x Railguns, Multiple Discharge Coils
